The Link Between HSP, Empathy & Co-Dependency
The child feels the emotions and the inner life of their parents like it was their own feelings and may believe that the well-being of their parents has to do with them - like if they could just be a little bit better as children, calmer, sweeter or quiter, then their parents would love them. It may also be that the pain, worry or fear of the care-takers feels as real as if it was the child's own feelings and the only hope for the child to not have to feel these feelings is to try to help their parents.
This is where co-dependency develops. The child begins to take care of their parents and knows where they are mentally, emotionally and energetically. For example, as soon as the parent comes home, the child begins to tune into the energy of the parent and begins to adjust their own energy and state of being in order to not have to feel the feelings of their parents. The child may also do this because she may think that the way her parents feel has to do with her, so she has to ''make it up'' to receive love.
This is where the child begins to loose contact with her own feelings and inner life. Suddenly the focus is not on what the child needs but the child is always looking in the external, how her parents are feeling and then adapts accordingly.
This is often also how fatigue syndromes start and is strongly connected to ''people-pleasing''. You have been so focused on the well-being of other people around you before your own needs, or you have tried to find your inner value externally from the environment by ''performing'' to fill up an inner emptiness.
If we've never been mirrored emotionally by our parents as children it's most likely that we continue our lives subconsciously to seek for that validation or confirmation.
When the child begins to lose touch with their own energy and truth, the child loses contact with who she or he truly is.
To replace the emptiness inside - the child might start to look for love in other people or places as they get older, because there is a sense of emptiness. Love relationships can be intense emotionally and there can be a longing to be seen and loved by another person fully to experience that which never was experienced in the childhood. But everything we encounter in relationships are reflections of ourselves which makes us frustrated. We feel like we've done everything right, making sure others feel good, but still we feel empty and not seen.
We do not yet understand that the solution lies within ourselves.
Other signs that we are trying to fill up a hole inside of ourselves may be extremes of shopping, gambling or sex, obsessions, addictions or similar behaviors that are all signs that you are not in contact with yourself and have lost touch with your own inner truth.
You try to compensate for an emptiness you feel within you, but nothing outside of you can fill you, just reinforce the feeling of emptiness and loneliness. In the end, things can go so far that we become aggressive, or that we stay in unhealthy relationships - because that's the only love we knew as children. Then it is an even greater warning signal that we need to return to ourselves and find love for ourselves - from within. How we treat others is a direct reflection of how we feel inside.
The way back to oneself often requires that we feel the feelings that it meant to lose contact with oneself. It means to sit with the feelings of being abandoned, rejected or not seen. We have to go to the place within ourselves that wasn't heard, seen or valued and give that place love. It may not be enough to talk about it with a psychiatrist or therapist, but releasing the emotional imprint of the pain that has been embodied in our body so that we can free up space and receive more divine love which is unconditional love - the truth of who we are and the love that we all seek.
To release the pain that we may store within ourselves from our childhood we have to allow the emotions that still may be lingering in this area of our life to be released through unconditional love, compassion and presence. It's important to give ourselves that which our parents never gave us as children in order to heal and not carry around the pain or pass it down to future generations. We don't want to repeat the cycle in our own children and someone needs to break the cycle of pain. Emotionally sensitive people have the ability to transcend the pain because they
· Are emotionally aware of it
· Have enormous emotional inner strength
· Have access to their feelings which means they can feel them and therefore release them
Connecting with the inner child as an adult and give the child what it needed can help us heal tremendously.
The grief, the pain and the suffering are only because we have lost touch with our own true inner essence. We can feel sadness because of the times we have tried to find love outside of us and been disappointed, let down or left.
In the end, everything comes back to ourselves. We find the reason why we were missing something, because we find out who we were missing was ourselves.
Only ourselves holds the key to our salvation, healing and awakening.
These steps can happen over time and may not be something you pay attention to before it becomes painful for real.
Especially anger or aggression can be clear signs that we really have unresolved emotions within us that we need to sit with, feel, allow and let go of.
We are respinsibile for our own healing and the forgivness of our parents. We all do our best based upon our level of awareness and ability at that given moment of time.
Forgiveness is another great tool to help us heal and free ourselves from the past. Individually and collectively.
The more intense the feeling - the greater the call for our own inner love.
You can do it.
You are strong.
Ascension Guide & Healer